We're Hiring in Delaware County!

I'm here to offer you what has to potential to be the best job you've ever had! And the really good news is that we're hiring 100 employees before January 1, 2013. And one of those new employees could be you. We offer you access to health care benefits and a flexible schedule (as well as a host of other benefits), and the opportunity for advancement--and it's NOT a scam. I know, you've heard it all before, but truly, this is legit. And if you don't live in Delco, call me too, we are actively hiring all around the country.

We are the leading direct selling company worldwide. We have over six million representatives, and the next one could be you. We're Avon. And we encourage you to be be your best with the best.

I admit, I'm an Avon Rep. I held off for a long time, over a year, while I looked into it carefully. Checking to see just how much money I could make in the amount of time I had to devote to it. Avon Reps can be full or part time, so the amount of money you make will depend solely on you.

Who is the typical Avon Rep? We're women, we're men, we're anything but typical! Some of us are older, some just out of high school. We sell to different demographics but most of all Avon is about helping people. We help people look and feel their very best--what more could you ask for in a job? Avon sells cosmetics but they're more. They sell fashion, they sell kitchen gadgets, they have jewelry and items designed just for men. We sell holiday specialty items and lingerie. You name it, we sell it! (Well, almost!) It's a great job. A job that is all about making people happy--what a blast!

I admit, I sell Avon for profit, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't fun as well. So if you've been looking for a job, full or part time, live in Delaware County, and want a job that's fun and makes you $$$, Avon is for you.  And unlike many direct sales companies, Avon charges you a minimal $10 fee to start. No expensive kit needed.

Want to find out more about Avon? Call me, I'll tell you about my experiences with Avon and if you're interested put in contact with my up line. We're people helping people, and I'd love to help you find the best job you've had!

Call me at 610-761-5398 and leave me your name and phone number, or if you prefer an email address. Looking forward to meeting you and showing you just how great a job selling Avon can be.

Top 10 Companies Hiring Employees Over 50

Are you over 50 and looking for work? The website Retirement Jobs analyzed where the majority of over 50's are working . Their results? 

Top 10 Industries by % of Employees Age 50+

1 Airlines
2 Utilities
3 Insurance
4 Retail
5 Chemicals
6 Aerospace
7 Packaging & Containers
8 Forest & Paper Products
9 Food Production
10 Beverages

So if you are looking for work, try targeting some of these companies. Since they are already over fifty friendly, it gives you a better chance at making it through the door. Good luck! May the hiring god be with you!

Background Checks

Most large companies outsource background checks on potential employees. And sometimes the results are astounding. Did you ever get turned down for a job and ask for a copy of your background check? Sometimes the smallest errors can turn a 'you have the job' to 'we regret to inform you...' (alas, no job!)

I spoke to a job applicant a few days ago who had an unusual result to his background check. It seemed it had turned 'he' into a 'she' (or in this case, turned him into his wife.)

How did it happen? A simple error on the applicant's part. He used auto fill when he was filling out a job application at home. The problem? His wife had also been applying for jobs using the same computer and auto fill put her driver's license number into the application.

You would think if a company got back results where the applicants information had the same last name and same address they would presume this was an simple error. But they have so many applicants that the accuracy of your job application is your responsibility.

After he contacted the company's human resource department and the company who ran the background check to have it corrected, he eventually got the job. But only after a lot of angst. And in this economy who can take the chance on missing out on a job opportunity because they made a simple mistake?

So save yourself some anxiety and do everything you can to be sure your job application is filled in correctly. Double check any numbers, addresses, and verify your contacts. And please disable the auto fill option.

No Call Back After An Interview?

There are any number of reasons you might not be getting a call back after an interview, and some of them have nothing to do with you or the person who interviewed you and if they want to hire you.

My spouse, who until recently was one of the long term unemployed, recently applied for a job at XYZ Company (OK, OK, so it wasn't really XYZ Company, but keeping it confidential). He'd found a hot lead, the interview went well, the company liked him...and he was REJECTED!

Why? For a reason you might never suspect. No one would provide a reference for him. I don't mean a specific person, I mean the companies he worked for.

His old companies were just not answering when the company he interviewed with called for references. They were just ignoring phone calls. Or it had been more than five years since he worked there and after that amount of time they'd archived their previous employee files and would not even verify that he'd been an employee at their company.

Wow! Who would have thought? I mean he knew they all had policies of not giving references other than dates of employment but to not answer when a potential employer of a former employee called for a reference? Call me naïve, but yes, I thought they'd at least verify dates of employment.

So take the time to find someone who will write you a personal letter of reference from your old company. Or if you know someone at the company who has knowledge of your former employers and can verify where you worked even if they can't verify exact dates, be sure to provide the employer with their name, address, and current phone number and email address. Have you taken the tech route and posted your prior employers on LinkedIn? Have people write a recommendation on LinkedIn. It will remain there where employers can view it.

Provide a list of personal contacts who can verify where you have worked. It's not optimal, but in a pinch it just might be enough for the potential employer.

So just in case it's been awhile since you were employed, and especially if you worked for a company that went out of business or was taken over by another company, be sure to have a backup for your references. And good luck!

(Oh yes, in case you are interested, he got the job! One of his personal references who also happened to work for the company verified his employment.) That was a close call!

Top 10 Fun Jobs For Nerds Over 50--Or My Job Bucket List!

By the time you get to my age (a dreaded 58) you've probably had a lot of jobs or had one or two and wished you could change yours, just to try out something new. Since I've been the product of downsizing three times in the last ten years I've had a lot of time to think about what I'd like to do.

I thought long and hard about what my TOP 10 fun jobs would be--so if yours are different don't be surprised. But please feel free to add them to the 'Comment' section.  I love hearing from my readers!

Nancy's Top Ten Bucket List of 'Wishful Thinking' Jobs:

1. Book Reviewer-Yeah, I know I can do it for free on Amazon etc. but the idea of reading and getting paid for it makes my day.  I don't care what it is, I don't care if it's short, long or in between.  I don't care if it's a book, magazine or online, I read it all!
2. Continuity Editor-I don't even know if they have these for books but I HATE when I'm reading a book and all of a sudden the continuity is off! If someone was wearing a red tie at the beginning of the chapter one would think by the end he'd still be wearing the same color!
3. Antique Hunter-I don't want sell them you understand, I want to find what people are looking for so THEY can buy it.  I am a huge fan of spending OPM (other people's money), just ask my mom at Christmas time when she's looking for the best price for a present or a neat gift for someone, who does she call? That would be me! Or my art collector friends whose collections are full of the results of my hunting. I'm not a pro, but I love the hunt!
4. Antiquarian bookseller-I do love HUNTING for valuable, one of a kind or rare items, coupled with my love of books this job lures me like a siren!  Hunting for first editions or other rare books -- pure joy.  Am I an expert? By no means! As I said, this is a 'wishful thinking' list!
5. Venture Capitalist-I love the excitement of taking something small and making it grow and thrive! Or taking an already existing and taking it to the next level.  I want to be a SHARK on  Shark Tank!  OK, OK, I know I need cash to do that, but it's wishful thinking!
6. Fashion Designer-This one I admit is total pie in the sky. I have NO talent in that direction but I do love vintage clothes or historical costumes. So maybe what I really need is to be someone who does costume designs for historical re-enactments or movies.  Face it, how many people took one look at Bella's dress in Twilight and recognized it as a knock off of an old Yves St. Laurent? Yeah, I know, I'm a nerd!  An OLD nerd!
7. Leather Collector-sounds kinky huh? but no, it's really kind of boring.  At least as leather collecting goes. This one is mild, but an obsession! I could do it in my sleep! My Pinterest board is filled with shoes, handbags,gloves, coats, anything made from good leather. Why do I want to travel? To go to countries where they have fabulous leather shoes and gloves etc. Shoes I fall in love with. Shoes I can't afford. Shoes that don't fit my lifestyle but oh how I love them all. High heels, flats, medium heels or even sandals or sneakers. I love shoes. I'm a mini-Imelda Marcos. And don't get me started on handbags.or gloves, or coats, or vests, yes if it's leather I want it. And a job that revolved around leather...please.... (well not a kinky one ...)
8. I want to decide what to sell on QVC.  OK.  Yeah.  I know.  I can hear you going... QVC?  Is she nuts? I admit, I do not shop on QVC.  But I love seeing what you can sell on QVC.  Or with a good infomercial!  Talking someone into buying something they don't really need or want... fun!
9. I want to be Ellen DeGeneris' personal assistant. Fact is, I LIKE Ellen. I don't just like her show. She's one fun lady! Anyone who starts her TV show off by dancing--you can't help but like her. I think it would be a kick to work for her. (yeah, I know, I live in Philadelphia, I guess Ellen will just have to move here huh?)
10. Last but not least? I want to be Dr. Seuss! OK, I know, hard to do. He's like...uh dead. That part I'm not interested in. But he was a one of a kind act. But I want to be an adult who maintains their sense of whimsy, their childlike wonder and outlook on the world. Dr. Seuss did that in spades.

What's on your bucket list of wishful thinking jobs? Leave me comments and let me know. Oh and if you're Ellen... I'm available! For you I would desert my blogging!

Have You Considered Temping?

I  know, a lot of us have been out of work for a long time. Some of us have had part time jobs but all of us are hunting for that elusive full time job that will give us benefits! I never appreciated my health benefits so much until I didn't have them! So where to look for work?

If you live in Delaware County, try Monarch, and temp agency in Springfield PA.  The women who run it are great about placing you and the great thing about temping... it can evolve into a full time job.  There are plenty of other agencies out there, just not ones I have personal experience with. It will also depend on your skill set, some are in bigger demand than others.


What does a temp job give you? Current work experience and a new reference! Golden in this age of long term unemployment! So give it a try!


Need to brush up on job skills? Why not head out to Delaware County Community College?  They offer regular classes for credit but also have adult education classes too. Don't leave any stone unturned, sometimes you need to update your skills in order to be more marketable! Happy Hunting!

Elevator Speeches and Employment

I was job hunting (OK, I admit it, I'm one of those people who are always 'looking' even when I don't want to change my job. I'm just...curious what is out there.) But in the course of reviewing a job possibility I came across this info from the Rapid Learning Institute. And of course, as a blogger, I head right to their blog where I found a post by Michael Boyette titled "375-year-old Sales Wisdom.

Their first set of 'must do's' have to do with prospecting. And like any good miner you should always be 'prospecting' and seeing what's out there. If you'd been prospecting before you last job loss you'd already have had your LinkedIn profile set up, you'd have been actively networking, your resume would be up to date (and you'd always carry a copy in your car). You'd be out there connecting with people, because you just never know when that person will go from 'not very important' to 'becoming your new best friend or job contact.'

Prospecting

• In times of prosperity, prepare for adversity.
• Have the gift of discovery.
• Put yourself in the center of things.
• Do – and be seen doing.
• Distinguish people of words from people of deeds.
• Never contend with someone who has nothing to lose.

Then they talk about 'making the sale.' What too many people who are interviewing for jobs fail to realize is you are 'the product' and you are always 'selling  yourself.'  Some of their excellent points fit very well for job hunters or salesmen alike.

You want to make that sale so keep the expectation alive. Know your worth and what salary you would accept for another job. Always be prepared with an elevator speech about yourself. Include your strongest qualities and a description of your job.

For anyone not familiar with an elevator speech it's what you could tell someone in a very short period of time about yourself, hitting all the high points without overdoing it. Less is often more, and more enticing! Stop and think how you could incorporate their ideas into your job hunting. It should help you to

Making the sale

• Keep expectation alive.
• Know how to get your price.
• Know your strongest quality.
• Never exaggerate.
• Make people depend on you.
• Do not explain too much.

And as a professional you should manage your reputation. Be sure that the 'you' people meet is the one who has self-respect and integrity. So in an attempt to 'sell yourself into a job' don't lie! Be up front and honest. It pays off in the end.

Managing your reputation

• Be a person of integrity.
• Do not parade your position.
• Never lose your self-respect.

Good luck job hunting. I hope this helps.  Even if you only take a few ideas from this it should help you narrow your elevator speech and be concise when describing yourself to a potential employer.

How LinkedIn Helped My Husband Get A Job

Amazingly enough, right after I posted last, my husband got a job. How? Through someone I knew from LinkedIn. Yes, he's over 50. Yes, he's been unemployed for nearly 2 years. Finally, finally and at last, a job.

Yes, it's not the job of his dreams.(He's not getting to beta test all the new computers and televisions or building media rooms--every man's dream job!) No, he's not making more money than at his last job. But he's very happy with the opportunity to show what he can do. He is thrilled to be back in the job force. Thank you Linked In! Without it he might never have found this opportunity.  And that's what it's all about. Finding an opportunity. Finding the right opportunity. For YOU!

So I am here to tell you, "IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU!" You don't have to be a blogger. But you do need to have a presence online.

And what's the old saw? "It's not what you know, it's who you know?" So true! So get out there. LinkedIn can be your best friend!

What's LinkedIn? LinkedIn "helps you find past and present colleagues and classmates quickly. LinkedIn makes staying in touch simple. Discover inside connections when you're looking for a job or new business opportunity." Set up a profile and be active on LinkedIn. It could net you a new job or just a great new professional connection.

Also sites like Meetup can help you network and re-work you resume. Meetup lets you put in your city or zip code and look for other groups of people who have similar interests. Whether you network with a group of others people who are searching for a new job or get together for tennis to socially expand your network, meetups are fun and often free! Meetup challenges you to "Do Something, Learn Something, Share Something, Change Something." I love the concept!

One of the things that happen to the long term unemployed is they lose hope. But by taking action you are generating 'hope.' That's why being and staying active is critical.

And frankly, there is no guarantee this will be the last time he's unemployed. Companies change. Their personnel needs change. The best you can do is stay prepared. Keep your resume updated. Keep in touch with people you used to work with.

Whether you use Facebook or LinkedIn, or any of the other social media sites (there's a new one every day!) stay active and involved.

Does this mean I'll stop writing this blog? No way! The problem of being over 50 and unemployed is still out there. It affects thousands of my friends and neighbors. It could affect you.

Job Hunting Using Social Media

Source: t3n.de via Kelby on Pinterest

Map of Long Term Unemployment

Forbes magazine and the Pew Charitable Trust published these long term unemployment number for the over 50 set.  The middle blue numbers are the % of long term unemployed.  3.5% seen in the red states on the west coast to a love of 1.5% in the west north central and west south central states.

While these numbers are a few months old, the long term unemployed who have fallen off the grid have just fallen between the cracks farther yet! If we delve into this labor report deeper, prospects for the long-term unemployed (those jobless for six months or longer) didn't improve. The long-term unemployment rate was little changed at 5.5 million workers who account for 42.9% of the unemployed. These are very scary numbers!

So Obama, Romney, where are your answers to these tough questions? How will you pull the economy up and out, and get it moving again?  So far neither candidate (or party) has given me any answers that make me feel good about them as the future of our country, how about you?

What have you heard that impresses you and makes you feel like we are coming out of this economic disaster?

The Face of The Newly Unemployed

Video from YouTube by Bonnie

Some people are just starting their bout with unemployment. The terror you face. The uncertainty that is around every corner. The journey just begun, that may never end.

What would you do if this was you?  How would you feel if a job you'd been loyal to for years made the choice to cut you loose.  Not to retirement and a gold watch but to the uncertain life of being unemployed and over 50 in this economy. 

How will she feel after two months of unemployment? After a year. After two years. She is not alone. She has millions of other people out there in the same predicament. What will she do?  What would you do if this was you?

Employed, At Last!

After nearly two years of unemployment, I finally have a job. A part time job granted, but a job. And it's a position that would be great for other over 50s to consider.

Look for the logo of The Arc

I am working as staff for an intellectually disabled adult who lives in her own apartment. She needs guidance with things like money management, cooking, grocery shopping, organization etc. Sometimes I drive her to social activities or help her choose activities she can safely get to on their own. Different clients need different skill sets, so there is sure to be someone who can use your specific set of skills.

The pros: The job is rewarding. You feel like you are really making a difference to someones future independence. It doesn't require a college degree, but of course, that never hurts. This job keeps you engaged with members of the community so if you are still job searching you can make contacts too.
You can work for more than one client, ending up with 40 hours per week or work part time.

The cons: No benefits! (not all jobs like this have no benefits, but I chose one where I make more $$ per hour versus benefits.) It is not always easy working with someone with a disability. It requires patience. Some days a lot of it. Depending on the client you work for, some may need assistance with mobility (lifting may be required.) Choose your client/clients with care, you don't want to end up out on disability. Be prepared to deal with Medicare/Medicaid issues, welfare, SSI/SSDI, housing authority, food pantries, and waiver requirements. The paperwork and dealing with assorted agencies may be the most difficult part of this job.

Education: High School education plus passing classes in CPR and first aid. You also have to pass child abuse clearances and fingerprint checks. So if you have skeletons in your closet it could be tricky. You also may have to attend classes to keep your CPR and first aid current or take other safety classes.

Where to apply: Ask your county ARC or check with your local Office of Intellectual Disabilities. (Check under Mental Health/Mental Retardation, these offices have different titles in different states.) Often parents or the individual will advertise in the local newspapers. It's all a matter of being aware that these jobs exist!

Finding A Job Over 50? Tough In This Economy!

With so many job sites automatically weeding out anyone over 'a certain age' where can you look for a job? Why not go to a site where employers post jobs when they WANT to hire retirees? Yes, that's right, there is such a thing.  Who knew? Just head over to RetirementJobs.com where they not only list jobs, they give tips on how to land them.

What are employers saying about using Retirement Jobs?

“Your site is really a great management tool and it is an easy way to review and add notes and organize groups…. The candidates coming in are also highly qualified with rich life experiences that fit our job profile. …I find that the candidates applying are adept at the computer, well educated and have a rich profile that matches our coaching needs. Thanks again for providing such a great resource.”
- Deb Sundal, Director of Program Services, United Healthcare

and

“RetirementJobs.com's certification gives RHI credibility with candidates. We only use RJC and AARP for this market. They have the highest customer service. We ask them to include us in all the press they get .” - Camille Grabowski, Robert Half International

How about consumers? Are they happy with this site?

“You are a Godsend - what a super idea -- someone catering to those of us who have early retired but don't really want to retire totally. Brilliant concept! I have recently retired from education after a rewarding 36 years but I am, by no means, ready to stop working! I want to give back but I also want to be paid for my knowledge & skills. I am passing your website on to all my colleagues who have recently retired from education -- we are a growing number -- as you well know (& most of us are under 60 & very much wanting to continue in the work force)! Thanks so much for providing us with a resource to do just that. It is great to feel valued.”
- Name withheld for privacy.

About a month ago I visited your site and noted a local Fortune 500 Company looking for retiree part-time employees. I applied using you post resume function and I begin work this Tuesday. Your site is the real deal.
- Name withheld for privacy.

So it seems everyone is happy with the services provided by Retirement Jobs' website. They maintain an 'A' rating with the Better Business Bureau. And part of the site is free (don't you love that word?) but even the Premium Service is not going to break the bank at a reasonable $4.95 per month. (Less for longer memberships!)

Premium members get a free review of their resume, a list of 'age friendly certified' employers, a discount on career services such as resume writing, Kaplan University, career coaching, and personal customer service, online workshops geared toward the 'over 50' job hunter, and they provide their work at home guide, which their experts have reviewed and found are legitimate organizations. You have to agree the minimal cost provides you with maximum return! And it's tax deductible if you itemize your taxes as a job hunting expense.

Find them on Facebook and Twitter, or look them up on NBC.com.

Unemployed in Camden County?

Live in South Jersey and looking for a job? The Haddonfield Patch published the answer! The Camden County Board of Freeholders is hosting a Camden County Job Fair on April 11, 2012 from 10 am to 2 pm.  The fair will be held in the Collingswood Ballroom.  Previous job fairs held by the Board of Freeholders have been very successful, resulting in job placements. 

The job fair will also have experts on hand to help constituents  with resume writing and interview skills.                                                                          

The job fair is being held in cooperation with the Camden County One-Stop Resource Center, therefore along with a wide variety of employers, representatives are available to offer advice on resume writing and the job search. The center also provides access to training and education programs.

The One Stop is collaborating with Camden County College to present two Resume Workshops at 10 a.m. on Monday, April 2 and Tuesday, April 3 and the College’s Executive Campus at Route 70 and Springdale Road in Cherry Hill.  Job hunters are encouraged to take advantage of the resume workshop.

Prior job fairs have attracted about 100 area employers. Go to camdencounty.com to find out more or to register as an employer who would like to attend. The Collingswood Grand Ballroom is located at 315 White Horse Pike, Collingswood NJ.

Follow Your Dreams

By the time you get to my age (a dreaded 58) you've probably had a lot of jobs or had one or two and wished you could change yours, just to try out something new. Since I've been the product of downsizing three times in the last ten years I've had a lot of time to think about what I'd like to do.

I thought long and hard about what my TOP 10 fun jobs would be--so if yours are different don't be surprised. But please feel free to add them to the 'Comment' section. I love hearing from my readers!

Nancy's Top Ten 'Wishful' Jobs:

1. Book Reviewer-Yeah, I know I can do it for free on Amazon etc. but the idea of reading and getting paid for it makes my day. I don't care what it is, I don't care if it's short, long or in between. I don't care if it's a book, magazine or online, I read it all!
2. Continuity Editor-I don't even know if they have these for books but I HATE when I'm reading a book and all of a sudden the continuity is off! If someone was wearing a red tie at the beginning of the chapter one would think by the end he'd still be wearing the same color!
3. Antique Hunter-I don't want sell them you understand, I want to find what people are looking for so THEY can buy it. I am a huge fan of spending OPM (other people's money), just ask my mom at Christmas time when she's looking for the best price for a present or a neat gift for someone, who does she call? That would be me! Or my art collector friends whose collections are full of the results of my hunting.
4. Antiquarian bookseller-I do love HUNTING for valuable, one of a kind or rare items, coupled with my love of books this job lures me like a siren! Hunting for first editions or other rare books -- pure joy.
5. Venture Capitalist-I love the excitement of taking something small and making it grow and thrive! Or taking an already existing and taking it to the next level. I want to be a SHARK!
6. Fashion Designer-This one I admit is total pie in the sky. I have NO talent in that direction but I do love vintage clothes or historical costumes. So maybe what I really need is to be someone who does costume designs for historical re-enactments or movies. Face it, how many people took one look at Bella's dress in Twilight and recognized it as a knock off of an old Yves St. Laurent? Yeah, I know, I'm a nerd! An OLD nerd!
7. Leather Collector-sounds kinky huh? but no, it's really kind of boring. At least as leather collecting goes. This one is mild, but an obsession! I could do it in my sleep! My pinterest board is filled with shoes, handbags,gloves, coats, anything made from good leather. Why do I want to travel? To go to countries where they have fabulous leather shoes and gloves etc. Shoes I fall in love with. Shoes I can't afford. Shoes that don't fit my lifestyle but oh how I love them all. High heels, flats, medium heels or even sandals or sneakers. I love shoes. I'm a mini-Imelda Marcos. And don't get me started on handbags.or gloves, or coats, or vests, yes if it's leather I want it. And a job that revolved around leather...please....
8. I want to decide what to sell on QVC. OK. Yeah. I know. I can hear you going... QVC? Is she nuts? I admit, I do not shop on QVC. But I love seeing what you can sell on QVC. Or with a good infomercial! Talking someone into buying something they don't really need or want... fun!
9. I want to be Ellen DeGeneris' personal assistant. Fact is, I LIKE Ellen. I don't just like her show. She's one fun lady! Anyone who starts her tv show off by dancing--you can't help but like her. I think it would be a kick to work for her. (yeah, I know, I live in Philadelphia, I guess Ellen will just have to move here huh?)
10. Last but not least? I want to be Dr. Seuss! OK, I know, hard to do. He was a one of a kind act. But I want to be an adult who maintains their sense of whimsy, their childlike wonder and outlook on the world. Dr. Seuss did that in spades.

All right, I bared my soul, how about you? What would you do if you could just chuck your 9-5 job for one that is fun? Are you a creative soul? Or maybe you'd prefer to be a math wizard? Failing that maybe you'd like to be a REAL wizard a la Harry Potter? Whatever it is, it's never too late to follow your dreams.  So go for it! Unemployment can be like changing schools when you were a kid, you get a chance to reinvent who everyone thinks you are to who you want to be.

Odd Jobs and Unemployment

Looking for a job when you're over 50 is not an easy task! Ads say 'youthful assistant wanted' or 'energetic youthful go getter' or any one of a dozen other descriptions that they (the employer) don't consider anyone over 50 to be. It doesn't matter that I don't think I'm REALLY old or at least lacking in the characteristics of youth, it's that the employers do! They use these catch phrases to screen out my less than youthful and older self (although I still maintain I am energetic and a go-getter.) 

What jobs are left for me to apply for? The ones that describe the job as 'must be willing to work for a difficult boss and hard taskmaster' (one wonders just how difficult and hard to work for this person must be that they advertise the job this way) or that have such bizarre descriptions that you wouldn't touch them seem to be what is left. So I continue the search, applying for jobs that even semi-fit my capabilities on the off-chance that someone will give me a break! Will I be reduced to applying for jobs that are at best bizarre? So as I was searching a variety of web sites for a new job and lamenting the lack of employment opportunities that fit my qualifications, I came across this ad:

Have you undergone extreme body modification to dramatically alter your appearance?
• Do you want to look like an elf, a mythical creature or a science fiction character?
• Do you have pointed ears? Forehead ridges? Eyeball tattoos?
• Are you more comfortable looking like a non-human?

A non-fiction program is currently casting individuals who've created alternate worlds/identities for themselves. We are interested in featuring people who are going to extremes to change their appearance, including looking more like science fiction or mythical characters.

This series will allow individuals that engage in body modification to educate viewers on their motivation and dedication to this form of self-expression. We'd like to know the challenges and rewards of looking different, and how this transformation has changed your life. We also hope the program will become a non-exploitive outlet to showcase lifestyles and sub cultures that people would otherwise never know about.

OK, I'm not so old I don't keep up with what's happening with my daughters' friends, and some of them sport what can politely be called 'unique looks.'  And I've seen women who are so addicted to having plastic surgery they look like a wax mannequin an Madame Tussauds. But I have to admit I have never run across people who want to get surgery TO LOOK LIKE AN ELF! Or to put metal spikes in their head, or any of a variety of forms of extreme body modification. I must not be hanging out in the city enough.

And the idea that they're going to do a television show about people who have created alternate world identities? I thought Jersey Shore was over the top!

Photo courtesy of Instructables

Getting plastic surgery to look like an elf, Mr. Spock, or E.T. just boggles my mind. Maybe I really AM getting old. Maybe when I cancelled my cable TV I missed out on all this 'fun and hip' stuff. So while I've applied to a lot of jobs I'm not a perfect fit for, I haven't lowered my standards so low that I'm willing to have NO STANDARDS! Even an over 50 woman has to have some standards in her job search.

How desperate are people getting in this economy where each  available job has hundreds, if not thousands of applicants? How low would you go? Would you get plastic surgery to look like an ELF just to score a job on a television show?

Oh you might get...famous, no infamous maybe, maybe you'd get your 15 minutes of fame...but....please no! So while Congress cut unemployment benefits, stop and think...is this what a lot of Americans have been reduced to in order to work? ELFDOM?

Our government needs to stop just handing out benefits without requiring job re-training or increasing the number of jobs you have to apply for. Pennsylvania's exteneded benefits only required me to apply for two jobs A WEEK! No wonder so many people ride out their unemployment! Finding a job if you only apply to two a week isn't going to net you a new job, not unless you are extremely lucky. We need to set up job internships where people are required to go to work (most of us would be glad to do it WE MISS WORKING!) This would give people a chance to get their foot in the door. And even if that job didn't pan out the company might have another position that would be a good fit. I'm convinced this is the only way we're going to dig our way out of the extreme unemployment.  So write to your senators and congressmen/women, tell them what you think! Consider it another job application for the week. 

Oh, and good luck to the elves. Sorry I'm not applying for that one, the good news is, that frees up my spot for someone who wants it!


(BTW, this ad appeared on Craigslist, I have no idea how credible the poster is, so if you apply and get hacked up by an ax murderer, ...well you can't say you weren't warned it was a bizarre post! I take no responsibility for anyone who chooses to take part in it! You are on your own!)