Odd Jobs and Unemployment

Looking for a job when you're over 50 is not an easy task! Ads say 'youthful assistant wanted' or 'energetic youthful go getter' or any one of a dozen other descriptions that they (the employer) don't consider anyone over 50 to be. It doesn't matter that I don't think I'm REALLY old or at least lacking in the characteristics of youth, it's that the employers do! They use these catch phrases to screen out my less than youthful and older self (although I still maintain I am energetic and a go-getter.) 

What jobs are left for me to apply for? The ones that describe the job as 'must be willing to work for a difficult boss and hard taskmaster' (one wonders just how difficult and hard to work for this person must be that they advertise the job this way) or that have such bizarre descriptions that you wouldn't touch them seem to be what is left. So I continue the search, applying for jobs that even semi-fit my capabilities on the off-chance that someone will give me a break! Will I be reduced to applying for jobs that are at best bizarre? So as I was searching a variety of web sites for a new job and lamenting the lack of employment opportunities that fit my qualifications, I came across this ad:

Have you undergone extreme body modification to dramatically alter your appearance?
• Do you want to look like an elf, a mythical creature or a science fiction character?
• Do you have pointed ears? Forehead ridges? Eyeball tattoos?
• Are you more comfortable looking like a non-human?

A non-fiction program is currently casting individuals who've created alternate worlds/identities for themselves. We are interested in featuring people who are going to extremes to change their appearance, including looking more like science fiction or mythical characters.

This series will allow individuals that engage in body modification to educate viewers on their motivation and dedication to this form of self-expression. We'd like to know the challenges and rewards of looking different, and how this transformation has changed your life. We also hope the program will become a non-exploitive outlet to showcase lifestyles and sub cultures that people would otherwise never know about.

OK, I'm not so old I don't keep up with what's happening with my daughters' friends, and some of them sport what can politely be called 'unique looks.'  And I've seen women who are so addicted to having plastic surgery they look like a wax mannequin an Madame Tussauds. But I have to admit I have never run across people who want to get surgery TO LOOK LIKE AN ELF! Or to put metal spikes in their head, or any of a variety of forms of extreme body modification. I must not be hanging out in the city enough.

And the idea that they're going to do a television show about people who have created alternate world identities? I thought Jersey Shore was over the top!

Photo courtesy of Instructables

Getting plastic surgery to look like an elf, Mr. Spock, or E.T. just boggles my mind. Maybe I really AM getting old. Maybe when I cancelled my cable TV I missed out on all this 'fun and hip' stuff. So while I've applied to a lot of jobs I'm not a perfect fit for, I haven't lowered my standards so low that I'm willing to have NO STANDARDS! Even an over 50 woman has to have some standards in her job search.

How desperate are people getting in this economy where each  available job has hundreds, if not thousands of applicants? How low would you go? Would you get plastic surgery to look like an ELF just to score a job on a television show?

Oh you might get...famous, no infamous maybe, maybe you'd get your 15 minutes of fame...but....please no! So while Congress cut unemployment benefits, stop and think...is this what a lot of Americans have been reduced to in order to work? ELFDOM?

Our government needs to stop just handing out benefits without requiring job re-training or increasing the number of jobs you have to apply for. Pennsylvania's exteneded benefits only required me to apply for two jobs A WEEK! No wonder so many people ride out their unemployment! Finding a job if you only apply to two a week isn't going to net you a new job, not unless you are extremely lucky. We need to set up job internships where people are required to go to work (most of us would be glad to do it WE MISS WORKING!) This would give people a chance to get their foot in the door. And even if that job didn't pan out the company might have another position that would be a good fit. I'm convinced this is the only way we're going to dig our way out of the extreme unemployment.  So write to your senators and congressmen/women, tell them what you think! Consider it another job application for the week. 

Oh, and good luck to the elves. Sorry I'm not applying for that one, the good news is, that frees up my spot for someone who wants it!


(BTW, this ad appeared on Craigslist, I have no idea how credible the poster is, so if you apply and get hacked up by an ax murderer, ...well you can't say you weren't warned it was a bizarre post! I take no responsibility for anyone who chooses to take part in it! You are on your own!)